School...

It just hit me like a ton of bricks today that Tommi will start school in August! I have always felt I was so ready but now I'm not so sure. Our life is so "easy" right now with no real schedule! She has preschool 2 days a week but it doesn't start till 9, is 10 minutes away, and Miley is old enough her mornings are more predictable!

I'm going to have a 2 month old and we will have to leave in the mornings at like 7:30! Hopefully I can get Tommi up and fed and ready before the baby and Miley get up but I doubt that! I'd love to just get them up and throw them in the car and go but we all know how predictable newborns are! I'm just scared the baby will wake up and want to eat when I need to be leaving etc. To prevent that I would have to wake the baby and feed him/her at a reasonable time but again babies are so not predictable.

I want to drive Tommi to school in the beginning. I want to be there for the first week or so to get her to class etc. Then after that my MIL can take over taking her. At that point I can get her up and ready and send her with TJ up to his parents house and she can ride with her from there. But the thought of sending her with out me is REALLY hard to imagine! I feel like I would be letting her down!

I want to cry b/c I'm that not ready in my mind. But then again I'm NOT homeschooling b/c that would not be fair to her to not get the attention she needs b/c I have 2 others to tend to and not have the friends that she would at school.

I'm now questioning my timing of this little munchkin BUT God planned it so of course it will work out!
Again...praying for a Lukey baby that will just go with the flow b/c life is gonna be crazy!!!

A phase?

Well the past 2 nights Tommi has given us some major trouble when putting her to bed. She does everything great then when it comes time for us to walk out the door she can't contain her tears. She literally just cries like she is scared of something but can't tell us what is going on.

Last night I was so frustrated that I did not handle it very well. I basically got mad at her...in the matter of about 30 minutes, she got her nightlights taken way, I got very frustrated, and it was a horrible situation! TJ being the calmer parent in frustrating times was super concerned b/c she was shaking and really upset. In my mind I kept thinking she is just trying to manipulate us. So TJ went in and cuddled with her for 45 minutes or so. He finally came out and I went in and told her I loved her prayed over her and gave her back her nightlights b/c it was too dark with out them and I felt like crap by that point. She needed me and all I could do was get mad b/c she was taking away from my time to chill. Seriously Laura? Mom of the year moment for you...NOT! So she finally did go to sleep after that.

I hardly slept b/c I felt so bad. I prayed and prayed God would just give me the patients to help her like I would if it were during the day and not cutting into my selfish time. And honestly begged for forgiveness b/c I was struggling.

Well tonight went well to start and I thought ok it was a fluke. But nope...the moment I went to walk out the door she pulled out the "I have to pee" so I said no and walked out. Well she came out and was crying on the toilet for some random reason of "she felt like she had to pee and she could only go a little" I started to feel frustrated but didn't go there. So I went in and laid down with her for a while. I went to get up and she just couldn't not cry and kept telling me she wasn't cold but she said she was shivering (she was not actually shivering that I could feel) So I laid with her again and prayed over her (to myself) over and over and thanked God for my issue b/c that means my baby is at home and needing me. Not in a hospital or somewhere I can't control things. I felt peace. She asked TJ to come in for extra kisses then told him to ask me to come do "extra prayers". So I went in and prayed with her and laid with her more then I needed to shower so I told her I was going to do that and I would be back ASAP. She got teary eyed but we talked and I got her all kinds of stuffed animals and offered her 2 stickers that she really wanted. (Weird but whatever works) She seemed to calm and was ok with this. I went out and TJ was in the basement so I had to wait about 20 minutes. Since she didn't call for me I went in before my shower and let her know I had to wait on TJ so I was going to shower now. She told me "I was just praying to God" so I asked her what she was praying about thinking she was praying to be brave etc. She said "I was praying for a baby brother!" and giggled. Lord help me that stinker. I pray she is not disappointed either way! Well anyway I gave her her stickers b/c I was proud of her. She seemed happy. I told her I would be right back. So I took a shower and probably was gone 30 minutes. When I went back in she was sleeping peacefully! So it was an hour process again but 110 times better than yesterday. TJ is super worried about her but I'm thinking she is going through a phase. I have had that "funny feeling to cry" too many times to count and vividly remember my mom comforting me when I felt that way. She never made me feel ashamed and I want Tommi to have that confidence also.

If she needs me then that is where I am going to be! Thankfully Miley goes right down now so no worries of her!

I am SO thankful for peace tonight and patience! I felt like a new person after getting through that tonight with only a few tears. No shaking, no crazy can't breath crying, etc. We did well! I will be moving bedtime back a bit to account for the time she needs to settle but she can't tell time so she will never know!

I needed to document this...it is hard to admit those "bad mom" moments but it happens and I am working hard to be patient and find peace. I want to be the mother God wants me to be. I want to always be there for my kids and be the best for them.

Weird...

Tonight Tommi was throwing fits over everything and hurt herself twice (jammed her finger and stepped on a toy) in the process of getting mad about something.

So the last one happened when TJ hit her in the leg with a ball on accident...she started crying like he broke her leg and just couldn't calm down. So I sent her to her room to calm down...after she walked out Miley crossed her arms and said very matter of fact "Weird...Tommi is weird" hahaha TJ and I about died it was so funny!

For the record she did calm down and we got our girl back with only minutes to spare before bedtime!

Slacker

I was reading back through my blog I kept with Tommi and poor Miley gets jipped I wish I blogged more about the little things b/c I know I will have and forgotten the silly little things she says etc. That goes for this baby too though...I was pretty on top on things with Tommi and Mileys pregnancies but this time I have only taken a couple pictures and never write much about how I'm feeling.

So I am going to work harder on documenting about everyday things. That even goes for Tommi at this point. She is getting so smart and says hilarious things and I want to remember them!

Miley and Tommi are both currently loving the song "Wagon Wheel". Tommi can sing most of the chorus but Miley's version is "rock me momma, rock me momma" with a random "wagon wheel" in there! It is hilarious!

Tonight Miley's favorite thing to tell me was "Momma, listen" she said it over and over as I looked at her listening. We were in church so that was interesting but that is Miley now! She talks ALL THE TIME! Which is so funny b/c majority of it is just repeating whatever Tommi is saying or whatever she hears on TV!

Today is Miley's 2nd birthday!!! We had a party yesterday that was just both sets of grandparents, one set of great-grandparents (Nana and Pap-pap) and Nate. We just had pizza and cake but it was nice to celebrate her and her crazy personality shined through b/c she was with (most) of the favorite people. She got LOTS of Minnie stuff, money and we gave her a dvd player for the car.
Tommi has a new fascination with calendars and dates. She would always ask me when she had school or when her birthday was, etc. So I bought her a calendar and put school and important dates on it. So she marks it off the day before bed and tell us what the next day is number wise and if there is anything going on. Tonight she told us "tomorrow is the 20th, then the next day is the 20th one" haha She knows all her number but I guess that threw her off. She knew how to say 22nd and 23rd. She can count to 100+ by herself now...and can go further but usually wears down after 105. That is a lot of numbers!

This pregnancy is going well. I am feeling the pains much earlier than the last 2 times. My hips and tailbone remind me often how much they dislike me! haha But over all I'm trying to enjoy it b/c it is flying by! The thought of this being the last time I'm pregnant makes me sad but 99% sure I do not want anymore children after this! I want to give my kids as much as I can. Even 3 spreads things thinner but I am confident this is exactly where God wants me! If Tommi's excitement doesn't seal that I don't know what does! She tells everyone how excited she is and asks me daily "how big is the baby?" It is awesome! She was some what aware with Miley but this time she really understands! I'm praying for a "Lukey baby" aka a baby with my little brothers personality, super laid back!

I have had a few drs appts. My last one was on Thursday and everything is going well. Baby's heartbeat was 151/152! So neat! No news is good news on this one. We set up our big ultrasound for February 12th and plan to take both the girls (that should be interesting) I debated if I wanted to find out the sex this time b/c it would be a fun surprise but I want to know to I can plan clothes etc. and plus Tommi is so ready to know she could jump out of her skin...that actually goes for everyone! As long as I come out knowing I have a healthy growing munchkin I will be on cloud 9!

I am not feeling much movement but my midwife said that could be placement of my placenta but not sure. I have been feeling flutters for a while but the major kicks "flicks" are not happening yet. That is one thing I can not wait for!!

So that is life about now. My girls are on a wake up early kick. They are getting up at 7-730 yuck! I want 8-830!

Almost 2

Miley has come to life even more in the last couple months. She is talking up a storm and even more full of herself then before. She will repeat anything we say and actually talks rather well. She has really started communicating very well. I love it! She loves to tell everything "love you ____!" She is still insanely obsessed with her big sister and wants to do everything she does...including the super annoying stuff!

I seriously fall more in love with her daily. She sleeps like a champ going down between 8-9 and waking up around 8ish. She has to have her baby, monkey "George" and her "night night" to go to sleep but otherwise she totally loves her bed.

She has become a super snugglier wanting to sit in the crook of my arm on the couch and just chill. I love it b/c I am usually surrounded by my girls since Tommi has always been my cuddler.

She still does not get the whole baby in my belly thing. She thinks Tommi is the only big sister and she always says no if someone talks about a baby in my belly!

For a month or so she would call Tommi "Nommi" but just in the past couple days has started saying it more clearly Tommi. Which excites Tommi so much.

I can not believe she is turning 2 but it is also awesome b/c she is really becoming a little girl...but still such a baby too!

Tonight I went out to eat with just the girls and Miley refused the highchair which for tonight is fine but most times I need her in it! She did do very well sitting in the booth with me but still can't sit still for more than a couple seconds at a time.

Still Miss Personality and wild woman but she is a blast!

She is really getting into learning her colors...she is right an awful lot that it makes me think she knows but then she will be totally off. So who knows but the interest is there so that is good.

Still a peanut but I'm thinking she may have broken the 20 pound mark...maybe. On our scale she is 21 lbs but not sure if that is right. She has her appointment on the 21st so I will know for sure.

I still do not know how all her personality and craziness fits into her tiny body!

Still alive...

I have not totally forgot about my blog...I just highly dislike my computer bc it is a pain in the butt so I rarely get on it...aka once to twice a month to pay bills.

So about the girls...

Tommi, the 4 and a half year old princess is sassy as ever! Her attitude is out of control but she is still my sweet cuddle bunny also. She is just testing us! She started school in September and LOVES it!! She only goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-12 so it is a good "break" for us both. She is loving having new friends and also loves having something that she gets to go do and look forward to. According to her teachers she does really well. She had some tests in the beginning b/c she wanted to always be with her cousin Titus but I think things have leveled out. She actually got put in time out TWICE in one day. Oh how lovely, her teachers didn't even tell me. She told on herself. But I talked to them and they said she was just having trouble not always being able to stand next to Titus but it was getting better as she made friends. Note...no other kid has been put in time out at all this year! haha My sweet stinker. She is actually all about following the rules and is pretty well behaved. So I do not worry about her. I see talking too much being her biggest problem but she comes by it honest so I can't blame her!
She is still taking ballet which she also loves! She is a beautiful dancer when she is not allowing the other girls to influence her.
Tommi is a professional big sister. She fights with Miley alot but is also her best friend and helps out with her alot! I am spoiled having Tommi as my little helper. I could not ask for a better big sister!
She is still my smarty pants! I am amazed by her facts she knows and her desire to learn. She asks many times a day how to spell certain words and sometimes will write them down. She is also working on sounding out words! I hope her desire to learn never goes away! Even if she is not the smartest kid in her class, if she is eager to learn then that is all I can ask!!

Miley....wow...my wild thing! I could not love this child more! She is amazing! She is also quite a pistol and gives me a run for my money. She is a climber and a dare devil. She doesn't walk much..she runs!
She has a large vocabulary and learns a new word almost everyday. She can recognize many animals and the noises they make. Cows, monkeys, and horses are her favorites but she knows many. She LOVES pointing things out and telling you about them. Usually telling you want it is then alot of nonsense but she knows exactly what she is talking about. She has the worlds cutest "please" and "thank you" and uses them correctly and often. She is becoming more of a snuggler...mainly when she is tired but I will take it.
She currently thinks hitting is ok...we are working hard on that! When she gets mad...watch out!! She is crazy! I laugh alot b/c she just gets so fired up!
She is sleeping through the night...goes down about 830-9 and up around 730. Then she just wants to cuddle for a while before eating breakfast.
She did wean herself at the beginning of October. Sad but nice day. She has been only nursing morning and night. I stopped offering and she rarely asked then just stopped. I was ready. After she weaned I would still rock her at naptime and bedtime. But in the last couple weeks she started asking to go straight to bed. So naptime she goes straight to her bed and bedtime we rock and say our prayers then she wants bed. It is REALLY NICE to lay her down and not hear from her till the morning. The snuggles were nice but I get them other times so it is ok.
Naptime she goes down from 2-4. Which is at the same time as Tommi so that is super awesome!!

I just fall more in love with these girls daily! They challenge me, teach me, and amaze me! I could not ask for better kids!

And to end with...baby #3 will be here in June 2014! I am swaying between feeling like "I can do this" and wondering if I have a screw loose! But Tommi is over the top excited and Miley has no idea what she is in for!

Tommi's reaction to us telling her was "You are joking me!" she kept saying it over and over. Then she got really excited and has told everyone she sees! It is so fun!
We told Miley "You are gonna be a big sister!" She said "No, no, no" and then hugged Tommi! haha

Lately...

Miley is back to sleeping through the night...well mainly. She has been getting up at 6 but nursing and going back to bed till 830-9 or she at least did that a few times last week. But as long as I'm not up in the middle of the night I will take it!

Miley is now telling me when she poops...she grabs her but and says "poopy" It surprises me everytime. I always think there is no way she is really doing that...then she does it again. After quite a few times I am convinced she does not like poop on her butt. I can not blame her but at 16 months I'm impressed. I'm hoping maybe this means she is gonna be an early potty trainer (they say cloth diaper babies potty train earlier)

Tommi is most definitely growing up way too fast! I look at her a couple times a day and my breath is taken away b/c I have a little girl...not a toddler but a kid! She is so beautiful!

To go along with growing up Tommi is giving us a run for our money with the attitude...she is pushing her limits to the max! The sweet Tommi is still there...thank God b/c I NEED her sweetness...it calms my heart and I love it.

Life is good!